Where To Begin ?

It's been just over a month since I have updated Addie's blog. I think my inability to keep up in a timely fashion has much to do with the fact I returned to work right after Thanksgiving. It certainly was hard to leave this little girl, but I do take great comfort in the fact we have the most outstanding child care provider. She has cared for all of our children, and the loving bond between Addie and Lori is already obvious. Addie Ting seems to enjoy the activity at childcare with all the other children, and while there of course, she is catered to and nurtured by big brother Jo-Jo as well. Indeed they are best of friends, and watching their bond grow has been so wonderful.




While at daycare Addie's walking progressed so rapidly, most likely because of her efforts to keep up with the others. She also has really taken to EATING. In fact the little gal who struggled to swallow only three months ago eats everything in sight. This reminds us of her brother Tommy who just cannot get enough to eat these days. At daycare Addie must always be seated next to Jo-Jo because she has quite a habit of swiping food from others, and it seems just a bit more appropriate if she swipes from her own brother. This week I remarked how she gulps down black olives, drinks English Breakfast Tea with intensity, smacks her lips at lobster, and loves dried strip fish. She coos as she chews on the salt fish, so we know she adores it. Sister Bayley, on the other hand, gets quite perturbed with Ting's fishy breath.

Christmas festivities have been lots of fun with all of our kids. At the childcare Christmas party while her brother cowered in the corner when Santa arrived, Addie bravely marched to his lap and checked out his beard. She seemed so excited to decorate the tree with her siblings and was ever so delicate when she touched our tree. Presents were interesting to her only because of her love for paper and strings and bows. She received lots of dolls for her first Christmas, but she really appears to have an interest in things like blocks, swords, DVD's, or all items used by the older kids.


Actually I should also include that she is infatuated with computers. When she sees her father sit down at the computer, she races to him and rapidly and in quite a rough manner pounds at the keys.


Addie is making some great gains in many areas. She has finally learned two very important signs- MORE and ALL GONE. These simple communication tools are exciting, as they give our little one the power to meaningfully say what she wants. When asked to "patty cake" Addie will travel across the room and grab my hands to begin clapping. It seems that since it was Mommy who taught her to do the game, she believes that she can only do "patty cake" using Mommy's hands. Addie knows how to "give me five" and she jumps by raising her heels when asked to jump. She delights in emptying folded laundry from baskets. When looking at a book and she is asked which picture is the banana, she slaps at the right picture. Pointing is still not something she is doing. Her favorite game this week is the "Up and Down" game. When we say "down" she squats down and when we say "up" she proudly stands straight up. Her language skills are emerging in a very interesting pattern, and we are unsure what this means. So far she has attempted to say "mama, dada, sis, nana, nannie, buppa, up, teeth, kitty, coke, and duck." The strange thing is that she will usually only say one or two of these words in a given day. She will practice those two words for a day and then the next day not say them but practice two different ones. Truly she seems so much happier now than she did three months ago. Without a doubt, we are a blessed family with all the joy she brings.

We still do have struggles that may take lots and lots of time. In addition to Addie Ting's speech and physical therapy, we have been consulting with a social worker who focuses on attachment. After completing a series of activities whereby Ron and I were filmed separately interacting with Addie, we were able to watch the results of the assessment. Though we had not noticed, upon watching the tape, it became immediately apparent that Addie struggles and actually avoids eye contact. She almost fools us by looking at our noses or mouths, and when watching people she looks at the action, but any moments of eye contact are fleeting at best. If our gazes do meet, her eyes are quickly averted. Addie's lack of eye contact is especially apparent when we compare her to other children her age and younger. These children easily make eye contact, even with strangers, while Addie cannot yet do this with those who love her. After reading and researching about poor eye contact, it is clear that this is a trust and attachment issue. Surely it will come, but for now her sweet kisses will have to be enough. Additionally Addie struggles with sleep. At childcare she resists napping and usually falls asleep sitting up. At home she does not nap or sleep alone. At times this is a struggle because her bedtime and my bedtime or Ron's bedtime must coincide. Throughout the night she startles and sits up to check where we are. She then touches my face and kneads my chest and neck with her hands. This cycle repeats itself many times each night. Sometimes the nights are long, but it wasn't so very long ago that many nights were long and I had trouble falling asleep as I lay wondering where she was and who was caring for her in China. Now the comfort of knowing Addie Mei Ting is with us where she belongs, far outweighs her restless nights, and one day we know she will sleep soundly and without fear of abandonment.